TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
By Grannie Annie
By Grannie Annie
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through his house,
St. Nick at the North Pole
Was as busy as a mouse.
Rudolph was ready,
Pawing the ground,
Waiting for St. Nicholas
To tell him their rounds.
St. Nick was still working,
Tuning up his GPS.
Feeding in the coordinates,
Don’t want any mess.
The place where we’re going
Is very hard to find.
Bastard Nation is our destination.
It lives within Bastard’s minds.
So our job tonight,
Said Santa to his reindeer,
Is to find all the Bastards
Who live in this sphere.
I’m bringing them a message
Of Christmas cheer.
Sealed records and baby dumps
Must disappear!
The bastards are nestled
All snug in their beds,
With visions of open records
Dancing in their heads.
Bastards’ stockings are hung
By their chimneys with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas
Soon will be there.
Through the night sky
The coursers they flew.
With a sleigh full of court orders
And legislative bills too.
He was a right jolly old man,
All in red he was dressed,
With a Bastard Nation T-shirt
Proudly covering his chest.
First stop. Ohio.
Bastard Mother Marley lives here.
No more baby dumps,
Oh founding foundling dear.
All deformers and dimwits
Get nothing but coal.
Bastards get equality -
They already have soul.
Santa spoke not a word,
As he opened his sack.
Filled all the stockings
With shiny keys from his pack.
All decorated with bows
Were these sparkly golden keys.
They open all the right doors
To set every adoptee free.
Freedom Keys, I call them,
Said dear old St. Nick.
And I’m counting on the Bastards
To use them all - quick!
It was a long journey
For St. Nick and his team.
Now he’s on his way home
He’s fulfilled Bastards’ dreams.
But I heard him explain, ere he flew out of sight,
Happy Christmas to Bastards . Keep up the good fight.
Grannie Annie wishes everyone peace and joy
during the holiday season and in the new year.
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